Moonmallow (the adorable plushie above) and I hope you and your loved ones have some very happy hollydays this year. ^___^ I've been busy with buying pressies for my friends and family, wrapping the pressies, and sending out cards to people over the past few weeks. Everything seems like a blur-- but a very happy blur!
I'm sending many warm thoughts your way. <3
I've spent a lot of time on my blog and other places online talking about Ed and Fru. I was thinking about it a while ago and I realized that I rarely ever come out and talk about just Isis, even though she's a huge part of my life. In the last year or so, she's played an even bigger role in my happiness.
When I first got Ed and Isis, I remember being disappointed about how unattached I felt with them. I wrote a blog post about it here and I got a lot of great feedback about how loving pets can take time sometimes; it's not always instantaneous. Everyone who said that was right and I'm really thankful for their help. Isis is one of those kitties that took a while to warm up to me-- much longer than Ed. And in all honesty, the wait was completely worth it.
Shawn, Beth, and I noticed that there was something a little "off" about Isis when she first came to live with us. She was terrified of everything. Even for a kitty, the horror in her eyes every time someone walked past her seemed excessive. We all watched her carefully and then came to the conclusion that she was most likely abused by one of her previous owners. As far as we knew, she had at least two previous owners, but there could have been more. The way she ran away from people and ducked her head whenever anyone would make any quick movements made me feel like she had once been struck by someone-- most likely a male since she's always had a greater fear with them. I know that not all kitties are warm and cuddly (I've been around a lot of cats in my life), but the feeling I got when I saw the fear in Isis' eyes told me something extremely bad happened to her in her past. Knowing this made me determined to help her feel comfortable in her new life.
I first started noticing a change in Isis when I took her (and Ed) to the vet for a checkup about two years ago. Ed was pretty calm, but as usual, Isis was terrified. I gently picked her up and held her the entire time she was there. It was the first memory I have of her clinging to me because she felt protected and safe in my arms. I remember how I couldn't stop smiling. Shawn even mentioned that Isis and I were having a "bonding experience." Ever since that day, I've felt a deep connection with Isis.
Since then, she's been slowly becoming more loving. I took advantage of that change and started to "work" with her more often. When she was really young, she wouldn't let anyone hold her and would claw her way out of a person's arms. (I have a scar to prove it.) I decided to take baby steps with Isis to help her understand that being held was a good thing. Every day, I would slowly pick her up and take her over to a window where we could watch the streets outside. I would talk to her in a very soft, soothing voice (very non-threatening) so she knew that I was still there with her. I figured that the movements on the steets would distract her enough so she wouldn't concentrate on the fact that I was holding her. Sure enough, Isis became used to being held by me. After a while, I was able to hold her for an infinite amount of time. In fact, I'd have to say that she now gets sad when I have to put her back on the floor after holding her.
These days, Isis is very relaxed. She's still afraid of almost all strangers (like a lot of kitties are), and most men. However, her attitude and mannerisms have changed to an enourmous extent with the people she's familiar and comfortable with. Isis no longer runs away when people are walking towards her. She doesn't duck her head quickly if people around her are moving their arms or moving objects around her. When Shawn and I walk in the door after being out for a few hours, she stays asleep in her kitty bed in the main room. If anything, she might look up at us to acknowledge our presence... but she doesn't run to a hiding place.
Whenever I'm asleep and Isis sees me curled up under my comforter and another very soft blanket I always use, she hops up on top of my stomach and falls asleep there. A few days ago, I woke up and was able to get off the couch without waking her up-- she stayed in the same spot, sleeping, for over ten hours! Most of the time, she's purring happily whever she's sleeping. And if I don't cuddle with her in the morning, which has become a routine for the two of us, she comes up to me later in the day and gives me sad mews to let me know she wants some cuddles.
Having two kitties who are so different from each other is amazing. Ed is friendly with everyone and is very sociable. Isis has grown into a kitty who chooses who to love, and if you're chosen, you feel like you are the most important person in the world. That's exactly how I feel whenever I'm with her. It was difficult for a long time for me to grasp the idea of Isis being calm and loving, but seeing her so happy every day has made her overall happiness a normality. I couldn't be more grateful for her and the fact that she's overcome whatever pain she experienced in the past. Her ability to move on and be happy has made me happy.
In an effort to consolidate all things bloggy and potty (euw)...I'm moving most of my blogging activity, posting of items and all general stuff to:
But that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this space. At least...not entirely. I'll try to crosslink updates and of course, I need to keep this account active to keep an eye on you hooligans.
This three dish set is avilable on Etsy if you're interested. I'm crazy about lidded items lately so if you have any requests (that you can receive after the Christmas rush)...don't hesitate to drop me a line.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
The Proust Questionnaire
Tiffany introduced it to me, via Jason via Anna. (And Sam begat William and William begat..)
I like these types of exercises, especially when I'm foggy and panicked generally unclear (as this Monday morning finds me). The Proust questionnaire is named for the French writer Marcel Proust, serving as the inspiration for more introspective interviews, an exercise in self exploration and a peak into the true motivations of the people providing the answers.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Emotional health and physical health, the ability to cover my expenses without any great anxiety, knowing without hesitation that I am loved, supported and valued by the people I love, support and value...and the freedom to create things with my own two hands.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That the things currently causing me grief, will never pass. That this, right now, is all there is to life.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My fear of inadequacy.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cowardice.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
My aunt Elizabeth. She finds the growth in every challenge. She does amazing things but remains incredibly humble. She can hug you and reduce you to tears just from the love coming from her pores. She sees the best in you and never lets you deny that it is there. She finds joy and beauty in the things many take for granted. She's faced incredible adversity with the courage of a lion and never reduces herself to bitterness. She loves hard, thinks unselfishly, fights for what she believes in and...she's just a wonder.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Art supplies.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Afraid. Confused. Scattered. Isolated.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity. But only because of the other recognized virtues, it is the one least inclined to impede your ability to be a healthy, happy, productive individual. I know lots of people that ain't "chaste" but live life with fulfillment and purpose.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm afraid that the truth is going to really hurt someone with no positive consequence, self included.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My stomach.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Well, there are a lot of people I don't like. The world is chock full of regrettable people. Though I find it more often to be a curse more than a blessing, I can sympathy or empathy for most. The living person I most despise right now might be Rush Limbaugh. He's dangerous and stirs unscrupulous passions for his own amusement. That sort of small minded deviance works on my ability to think kind thoughts.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Integrity. Not just one's ability to speak truthfully, but to do so at the cost of your own comfort and ease. Someone that is willing to be seen for who they are. To stand in their truth and not the shadow of what they want others to believe they are.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Grace. The ability to consider feelings and actions with wisdom and well being and to act gracefully even when it might be difficult to do so.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I can't.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog. I can always count on her to love me, tend to my wounded feelings and remind me that there's a being out here that will always give as much as or more than she takes. My childhood best friend, Jameel. Over thirty years and going strong. He's been the only one to always be there, to protect me on those occasions I couldn't protect myself and to keep all of my truest thoughts, fears and feelings safe and secure. He's probably the only person I've known that closely or long who has never snatched the rug out from under me.
16. When and where were you happiest?
The day I graduated from college and saw absolute blissful joy and delight on my father's face, knowing I had everything to do with it. A time long ago when I thought I was in love with someone just as in love with me. While everything else is in that story is but a work of fiction, that feeling I had was truer than most anything I've ever experienced. And I try to remain grateful for it.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to read minds.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My tendency toward self-preoccupation.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I think that's yet to be discovered.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
An eagle. (feathers, not helmets)
21. Where would you most like to live?
Sometimes I think New Mexico. Loads of pottery there, lots of ceramic inspiration, still away from the hustle and bustle of life in a city. Places I would spend a year or two? London. Toronto. New Zealand. Portugal.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A life with no other passion but material gain or personal recognition.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Potter. Followed by writer.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I honestly don't know. I don't trust that I've ever had a clear lens for how others see/observe me.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Their sincerity.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Neil Gaiman, Octavia Butler, Pearl Cleage, Paulo Coehlo, C.S. Lewis, Anchee Min, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Maya Angelou
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Ellen Ripley from the Alien series.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't think I know enough about the inner workings of any historical figure to say who that person would be.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
The people who are driven each and every day to the commitment of human services, community service and charitable efforts.
And before I begin let me qualify my thoughts as I am a Cancerian and emotionally-driven person who cries when she's happy, cries when she's said and many times feels first and thinks second.
Don't make sensitivity a weapon.
I'm all for explaining to people that you may potentially be thin-skinned and making requests to consider your heart before entering into a potentially combustible dialogue. At all times we should take into consideration how our thoughts and expressions of them may make others feel. A defensive maneuver will almost always beget a defensive maneuver. It's the fundamental rule to conflict. You hit me, it hurts. I hit back, you hurt and the dance escalates until two people are saying or doing regrettable things. Rather than using your sensitivity as a license to kill, use it as a means to find more productive ways to speak with love. Rather than letting your sensitivity give you an unrealistic sense of entitlement and petulant expectation, try and commit to the notion that it always takes two parties to create a disagreeable relationship conflict. You are hurt...in some ways big or small, they are likely hurting, too.
Don't make sensitivity a wall to constructive criticism.
There comes a time in every adult's life when you have to suck it up and face tough talk. Especially when the tough talk potentially saves you from a choice, an action or measure that could have long-term or especially painful consequences. While I am sensitive, I expect and almost demand that the people I love, give it to me straight, particularly when I screw something up. Because I am human. I am going to do that. And yes, you can give straight talk without pulling out the clubs and knives. So keep in mind that sometimes when people speak sternly to you, it is more important to identify the value in their statement...especially when you know behind the annoyance that statement is coming from a place of love. It's nice to hear only about the wonderful things we do; but it's better to hear about the ways we can grow and elevate to keep amazing ourselves and others. Never use your 'sensitivity' as a means to avoid owning your stuff.
And you know how I feel about owning your stuff.
Hey there friends. Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when I post photos of my clay babies and announce I'm selling them on the innurnets.
I try to limit how often I do these updates here, especially since I have a pottery blog that I use neglect for those purposes. But I did want to share my progress with you because I figured you'd like to see them I could use the supplemental income.
I've graduated to lids, casserole dishes and bigger bowls and plates. We're moving on up.
To ooh and ahh, see below. To shop, you can find me here.
A lot of Blythe people are doing their dolls' favorite fifteen items on Flickr. I decided to do a photo for Plum! She has so many favorite things... It was difficult to fit even just fifteen of them into one shot. o_O
And actually, all the items in this photo are Plum's favorite clothes and accessories, not just the fifteen that are tagged on my Flickr. I cheated a little! But I only tagged fifteen of the items, haha. ^__^
I can't wait to take more photos of Plum in the outfit she's wearing right now. She's totally dressed for autumn and winter. I dressed her and Jinkies the other day and they look so cute next to each other. It's been super cloudy and rainy every day this week so there haven't really been any opportunities for me to go outside and get good lighting for photos. I was lucky I got a chance to jump outside for this quick photo today. In fact, I almost didn't get any shots in because the tiny dresses started getting blown away. x_____x Shawn stood outside with me and made sure it all stayed in order, tee hee.
When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness. - Joseph Campbell
This summer, I accepted a co-executive director position with a arts-based non-profit. Before you go throwing confetti in my face, let me first clarify some things.
I still have my previous position with my current employer.
This position feeds my soul and not my wallet.
Now, proceed with the confetti. *dons protective garb*
Today, I visited an African American museum and cultural center here in Austin, TX to speak with their director about bringing our two missions together. It went swimmingly. As soon as I have more details firmed you'll be hearing a lot more about this next project but for now I just have to tell you...
The minute I left my meeting today, I remembered everything I have loved about community engagement. I was energized, alive, empowered and nearly intoxicated off of the joy of knowing we might just play a positive part in the development and artistic awareness of under-served children. It reminded me as I raced home on a brilliantly crisp fall morning in Austin, there is no greater satisfaction than the service we can offer to others. No matter how big or small.
It also reminded me just how much joy is a state of mind. A perspective. A lens. It cannot be found in wealth or things. But it can be found in giving of yourself for reasons that don't have a thing to do...with you.
- As lovely and empowering as thoughts are...thinking less from time to time lets something else...something spiritually powerful, in.
- There is incredible strength to found in vulnerability, but to experience it - you have to have the courage to accept your own weakness.
- People who truly love you will want to support you - but it's still up to you to tell them what you need. We truly do get by with a little help from our friends.
- The biggest truths are usually stated in ten words or less.
- No one can wrestle that truth from you - except of course...you.
This year has been hard. So hard in ways I don't always put in this space. Not just for me but for many around me...which makes it even more arduous. Despite this, I'm beginning to understand how much beauty there is in struggle. Not during the moments of anxiety but during those breaks in the action when you connect, when you love and you remember that you are loved in return. The tenderness you sometimes take for granted becomes the armor you use to fight another day.
Last week, the only place I could find some peace was under the spray of water in my shower stall. I stood there, longer than I normally would, letting hot water mingle with frustrated tears. Perhaps it was because my bathroom felt especially snug and warm; its enclosed space reminding me of a safety I haven't felt in what is now nearly three years. Maybe it was the healing power of water and the sound of it's falling giving me temporary privacy. Perhaps it was because my physical nudity made every part of me feel stripped. Whatever it was, in that moment I could admit in that shower that I was beaten. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Afraid. Faithless. Struggling to make a path to connect with a source of clarity that I usually keep tabs on. I spoke the words aloud..."I need help because I am so lost."
By the time I got out of the shower I was shriveled and shivery...but emptied of the contents making my belly a never-ending stew. As I crawled into bed and said prayers to whatever spiritual power you wish to call it, I made it clear that I understood that none of this stuff was going to magically be resolved by the might of my own hand or the might of my intellect or even my wayward ego. I was going to require some signs and assistance. Some spiritual intervention. And I had every intention on shutting up with my antics until it was revealed to me.
Revelations don't come with a trumpet blare or call for attention. They slip in quietly and wait to be acknowledged. Thankfully, they're willing to hang around until you extract your head from your tail so that you may see them.
Tonight, I rest well with clarity. I know I am loved. I know I have been loved. know that I am safe, even when flying blind. And I can find the beauty in all things big and small. Life can be good.
...Even when it's choking the crap out of you.
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